Are You Too Shy?

Are you too shy? Do you have trouble in your relationships because of it?

Shyness is a feeling. A person feels shy, therefore, a person "is" shy. As we've discussed before, feelings can be changed. If you no longer feel shy, you no longer are shy.

Let's start with how shyness begins. Usually, it's your thoughts that start it. They go like this:

"Oh, no. I can't talk to him/her. We have nothing in common. They wouldn't be interested in anything I have to say."

"Oh, no. I can't talk to him/her. I'm too shy."

"Oh, no. I can't talk to him/her. They are so much richer/prettier/more handsome/ more popular than I am."

"Oh, no. I can't talk in front of people!"

You get the picture. You've already run through the scenario and wound up the loser. Why? Because when someone comes out the winner -- when they are so much richer/prettier/more handsome/more popular -- someone also comes out the loser. No contest there, right?

How can you change that? Well, you change the trigger that says to your brain, "I'm shy".

What's a trigger? When you have a trigger, you have the same reaction, time and again, to a person's voice, looks, attitude. You feel like you can't help the reaction, it's automatic. When you smell pine, you think of winter/Christmas. When you hear a loud voice, you have your own unique reaction, good or bad. If you are shy, although not purposely, you were no doubt triggered in your formative years to be shy.

How? By thinking the same thoughts, or something similar, as the ones listed above. If you come to a particular person and shyness sets in, you are triggered by something that person says, how he or she looks or acts, or possibly his or her tone of voice or expression. That person has taken you out of your comfort zone. You need to deactivate that trigger. To learn how, go here: http://www.tameyourbrain.com/deactivatingtriggers.htm

When you have deactivated the triggers, you need to give yourself a boost in the gregarious direction. Here's how you do it:

Stand in front of a mirror and show your brain what it is you want to look like (posture, expression, etc.), act like, and feel like the next time you are with someone you USED to feel shy around. When your brain sees how it is you want to be enough times, it will go in that direction.

So, here's what you do. (It doesn't matter how many times the shy reaction sets in, what matters is what you do about it.) Whether it happens once a week or several times a day, every evening or morning or both, stand in front of a mirror and make your changes -- reenact the situation like you wish it would have happened.

The more your brain sees it, the more your brain can't help but bring it into your reality. Remember, the more you think it, the more you say it, the more you attract it. DECIDE what it is you want in your life and reenact what you have decided in front of your mirror.

Again, the more you think it, the more you say it, the more you attract it -- in front of your mirror. What are you "attracting" in front of your mirror? That's what you will be seeing in your "reality", probably sooner than you think.

Good luck, and let me know how it works!

Thanks for reading,