Do You Let People Give?

Do you let people give? For instance, do you share responsibilities? If you do something for someone, do you let them repay you by doing it, or something else, for you?

Or are you the type that when you go out for lunch with a certain person who's down on his or her luck, you always buy? And if they want to reciprocate in any way, you don't let them?

If you don't let someone reciprocate, which means give back, then, possibly, you are doing them a disservice. Have you thought about it that way?

Or do you think, "They can't afford to do anything. I'll treat until they can."?

No matter how down and out a person is, they'll never rise above their situations in life if people keep giving to them instead of allowing them to give back in whatever way they can.

If we teach people something, we are helping them far more than if we were to continually do things for them. Always giving to them, in and of itself, is teaching them to be dependent on others.

They need to know that things will get better, AND they need to know that THEY can be in control.

Can a dependency pattern be stopped? Definitely. What happens when a dependency pattern is stopped? The person who was dependent, as well as the person who was depended upon, will now feel more balanced.

Now if you are the person who is down and out right now, never think there is nothing you can do for someone else to give back. There is always something, some way, to reciprocate.

It is important for you to give. KNOW THIS. If you don't have a moment of giving, you will only be thinking that you need help, and chances are that you'll always need help. The first step out of the pit of despair is to give, and to give with feeling.

Now, if you are the person who is always giving, let it be known that you won't be giving at this particular time. Or that you are open to change. Do whatever you need to do to break the chain. And I don't mean this in a selfish way.

Maybe you can just make it a point that when the person says he or she would like to reciprocate, you will now say something like, "If you would like to, that will be fine." If you look closely, you will notice that you have just given them Power. And now that the power has shifted, they stand a little taller. And isn't that a reward in and of itself? Now, you both feel good.

If your situation is more complicated, and the person doesn't want to give anything -- maybe because they can't think of something they CAN give -- suggest something. Maybe you would both feel better if that something went to another person or charity.

If a person is not paying you something they owe, and you are writing this off -- usually you are doing more harm than good -- to both of you. Maybe you can suggest a payment plan to another person, one who will hold the person who owes accountable. Or, if the other person doesn't want to pay you because, after all, you do have money, give him or her an alternative. Maybe the money can go to a favorite project.

It's OK to give, to treat, to buy things for others, to be responsible for the evening when no one else will take responsibility, BUT it's usually not OK if it becomes a habit.

Give and take is a wonderful thing. Do it often.

Good luck!

Thanks for reading.

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by Jan Tincher

Author of . . .

"6 Steps To Success"...Click here to learn unique methods on how to use your mind to succeed!

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