Do You Get Embarrassed Easily?
~ By Jan Tincher

Copyright © Jan Tincher - All Rights reserved
http://www.tameyourbrain.com

Let's say your spouse, significant other, or good friend is doing something that looks stupid to you. Or your boss yells at you in front of everyone. Or your kids are acting
up . . .

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Who has the problem?

You might say you do, and you would be right, if you let it be a problem. You see, embarrassment is just a feeling. An emotion. It is also something you can deal with.

Something you can deal with when your spouse, significant other, or good friend is doing something that looks stupid *to you*, embarrassing you. Something you can deal with when your boss is yelling at you, embarrassing you. Something you can deal with when your kids act up and do something wrong in front of you -- and several others?

Let's look at this logically:

Number one, if you let yourself get embarrassed, you usually LOOK embarrassed. That's a by-product that most people really dislike.

Number two, why should you feel embarrassed/stupid in the first place? Or, why should you feel embarrassed/stupid by association? Because everyone messes up sometime. Whether you are embarrassing yourself or someone else is embarrassing you, embarrassment isn't something people actually die from.

Number three, if someone close to you is doing something that *looks stupid*, you can ask yourself these questions:

*Does it just look stupid to ME?*
And if it does:
*Does it just look stupid to me, because I want them to be perfect?*
And if it does:
*Is wanting them to be perfect a qualification for being a spouse/significant other/good friend/child?*
And if it is:
*Is that right for all involved, for me to want them to be perfect?*

Those episodes may get over quickly, but if you don't learn how to handle those type of situations, you'll suffer embarrassment again and again. So, if you need help, here it is!

Here are four techniques to use:

One: Decide right now just how badly someone really has to mess up before you decide to get embarrassed. How about this? Decide that they have to scream, throw a fit, turn purple, and fly with their ears before you let it affect you! That puts a different spin on things, doesn't it?

Two: You can stand or sit there, embarrassed, or you can think about what you can do to help the situation -- because often it's just that someone is having a bad day and they could use some help -- then take affirmative action.

Three: Another way to deal with it is to delve deeper. Maybe you aren't really embarrassed. Maybe you are just upset, frustrated, annoyed. If you can realize that you are just annoyed -- which is just an emotion -- it doesn't seem so bad, does it?

Four: The minute someone does something that embarrasses you, take three deep breaths. As you are breathing deeply, think about what is happening. Is this a situation where you can just calmly walk away until you are able to deal with your emotions? If so, why not do it?

My goodness, that was easy, wasn't it?

So, look at your options:

Stand there and feel -- and look -- embarrassed and react however it is that you react when you are embarrassed, OR take three deep breaths, make your decision and follow up on it. If you decide that it isn't anything to be embarrassed about -- which the more you use these techniques, the more each decision will be that you aren't embarrassed -- start thinking about other things. In other words, llet the episode flow off your back. The sooner you start learning how to take charge of your emotions, the sooner your life will be on track.

Guess what? Things always work out in the end. They work out badly if we have a bad attitude, or they work out well when we take things in stride. Which would you pick if you had a choice? Well, guess what, again. You always have a choice. <grin>

Good luck!

Thanks for reading.

Jan

P.S. Here are other articles that will help with this type of situation:
Any of the anxiety articles listed at the bottom of this page:
http://www.tameyourbrain.com/tybnow/index.htm , plus:
*Relax, Go To Neutral"
Http://www.tameyourbrain.com/tybnow/relaxneutral.htm
*Walk Away Power*
http://www.tameyourbrain.com/walkawaypower.htm

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Copyright 2008, Jan Tincher, All Rights Reserved Worldwide

Check out my Tame Your Brain! Blog here:
http://www.tameyourbrain.com/blogtyb/
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DISCLAIMER: Jan Tincher and/or *Tame Your Brain!* do not guarantee or warrant that the techniques and strategies portrayed will work for everyone. The techniques and strategies are general in nature and may not apply to everyone. The techniques and strategies are not intended to substitute for obtaining medical advice from the medical profession. Always consult your own professionals before making any life-changing decisions.

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