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Your brain works in pictures.

Visualize what you want in your relationship so your brain can bring it to you.

Do you *wish* you had less stress in your relationship?

Do you *wish* you had more patience in your relationship?

Do you *wish* you had more energy in your relationship?

Your brain works in pictures. *Wishing* is not a picture. *Wishing* is so far out there, your brain doesn't even recognize it. *Wishing* is just saying something like, *Oh, I wish I could do, have, be . . .*

Picture having what you want in your relationship. See your *wishes* come true.

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Would you like a calmer, happier relationship?

Take stock of how many rules you live by. The law of averages says that if you or your partner have too many rules, somebody's going to violate one of them just about any time, any day.

If your rules are violated, you have stress in your relationship.

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At any given moment you can create or change your emotions in your relationship.

Knowing that, if you don't feel good mentally, why not choose to feel good mentally?

Why not just decide to feel good RIGHT NOW. Watch how your body reacts to that thought. Watch how your partner reacts to that thought.

You're alive, enjoy it.

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Pretend you are at a crossroads.

Forget your past in your relationship.

Think about who you are NOW.

Don't think about who you WERE. Think about who you ARE or who you've decided to become.

Feel how that feels. See yourself as you want your partner to see you.

Hear yourself speaking as though you are what you have decided to become.

Decide right now to be that person. Make this decision immediately.

Make this decision powerfully. Make this decision permanently.

Now, be that person! Live life to the fullest!

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Do you feel despair in your relationship?

Turn your heart toward love.

What if you can't, you ask?

The answer is, if you can't, you MUST.

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What are *dominant thoughts*?

Dominant thoughts are goals or obsessions that you continually think about. They are what your actual priorities are.

Look at your relationship and you will see the results of your dominant thoughts. Do you like your dominant thoughts? If not, change them.

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What is Self-Talk?

Self-talk is what you say to yourself. The silent conversations you have with yourself every waking second of your life.

Self-talk comes out in the conversations you have with others.

If you don't like what you say to others, watch what you say to yourself.

What kind of self-talk do YOU have? Is it stressful or peaceful? Is your relationship stressful or peaceful? If it's not what you want, now is the time to change it!

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Bad things are happening all the time.

Good things are happening all the time.

What is happening in your relationship at this time?

What you are paying attention to controls how you feel.

If you are hearing, thinking, or paying attention to bad things, then that is what you are attracting.

Think about it. Take control of your life, your thoughts, so that you can have a happy, healthy relationship.

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Do you know when problems in your relationship occur?

Problems usually occur when there is a gap between where you are and where you want to be in it.

In other words, as soon as you define a goal in your relationship, you've made a problem because you don't yet have your goal.

Problems are lessened when goals are stated as projects and a map of sorts is made to get to the goal.

That being the case, the minute you make a goal in your relationship, make plans on how you can achieve it. You bypass the *problem* area instantly.

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If you adopted a new set of words in your relationship, wouldn't that change your stress level?

How about if you said you were *annoyed,* instead of *enraged*?

Or *kind of upset,* instead of *damn mad*?

Or *you silly person,* instead of *You Idiot!*?

If you have more words that indicate how upset you are, why not try replacing them, too? See if that doesn't help your emotional state, and therefore your relationship. When you see how well that works, why don't you check out the rest of your vocabulary? See all kinds of changes that can make in your relationship and in your life.

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What is a cliché?

It's a phrase which has lost its meaning through constant use.

Is the meaning you give your relationship a cliché?

If it is, give it a new twist. See if you can give your relationship a new meaning.

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Do you know the power of self-talk in your relationship?

Pretend your brain is on your shoulder.

Now, it can only hear what you tell it. It can't hear what others are telling you. It can only hear what you are thinking and saying.

It doesn't matter what others are telling you if you don't believe them. You filter what they say and that's what your brain hears.

Does it hear, *S/he doesn't love me anymore.* *I've gained too much weight to be attractive to him/her anymore.* *S/he thinks I'm so stupid.*

Whatever you are thinking, your brain is listening. Try this, *I'm getting better every day.* Your brain has no idea what you are talking about, so it just goes about making you better at the things you do. You've just given yourself a chance at a wonderful relationship because that's probably one of the things you are telling your brain that you have. Congratulations!

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Remember this for your relationship. Every cause brings its effect. Every action has a consequence.

What does that mean?

If you plant apples, you'll reap apples. If you plant goodness, you'll reap goodness. Start your new year out planting lots of goodness, especially in your relationship.

Smile as you reap the rewards.

Look at every action you make. What will it bring you? Stress or peace? If you don't like what it will bring you, ultimately, then start finding new actions to use.

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If you like Jan Tincher's articles, you'll love her Relationship Tips! Subscribe here and immediately receive your fr'ee ebook "Tame Your Brain For Relationships!"

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2010, Jan Tincher, All Rights Reserved Worldwide

DISCLAIMER: Jan Tincher and/or *Tame Your Brain!* do not guarantee or warrant that the techniques and strategies portrayed will work for everyone. The techniques and strategies are general in nature and may not apply to everyone. The techniques and strategies are not intended to substitute for obtaining medical advice from the medical profession. Always consult your own professionals before making any life-changing decisions.

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==>Publishers, you are welcome to reprint this article in its entirety provided you retain the above resource box and include this notice. If you would like more articles, please visit my article site here: http://www.tameyourbrain.com/articles.htm

 

 

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