We need to experience the goodness of sharing our love, NOT our grief.

What happens when someone tells you that a person has cancer (or any life threatening disease)? Your mind goes to your previous experiences with a loved one or friend who has had it. Or if you haven't had an experience yet, your mind goes to the horror stories you've heard. It could be "Oh, no." And then thoughts go to all kinds of pain and expense that person is going to incur, or worse, to horror stories you have heard.

How can you change this? One way is to stop listening to horror stories and certainly don't tell any. Stop people who take pride in sharing theirs. Stop them nicely, of course, but stop them. Change the subject or say something like "That's too bad (at the very beginning of their story), but isn't it good to hear good things?" Then proceed to tell them something good about your experience or the experience of someone you know. This will be your way of helping the next cancer patient from being scared out of their wits or feeling alone in the world. Not only that, but showing by sharing is excellent. The person who is used to talking about only the bad maybe doesn't realize the pain they are causing. You will be showing them a new way to handle their experiences.

NOTE: I understand people need to talk about their experiences, but they need to talk to a professional. If they talk to people -- family and friends -- on a regular basis about their tragedy, they are keeping their tragedy with them and spreading that tragedy. It is to their benefit if you encourage them to remember the good things and get on with their lives.

Whenever you say anything, think about who it is affecting and how. When you realize that it isn't just yourself, but others also, it gives you encouragement to change your thoughts and live a happy life.

We need to experience the goodness of sharing our love, NOT our grief.

Do you like this article?

Thanks for reading,

Jan

Copyright 2010, Jan Tincher, All Rights Reserved Worldwide

DISCLAIMER: Jan Tincher and/or *Tame Your Brain!* do not guarantee or warrant that the techniques and strategies portrayed will work for everyone. The techniques and strategies are general in nature and may not apply to everyone. The techniques and strategies are not intended to substitute for obtaining medical advice from the medical profession. Always consult your own professionals before making any life-changing decisions.

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